snake tales

oh what a glorious morning! headed out to my secret-garden-in-progress for some communing time with my amazing Creator, coffee cup in hand. screen door is slightly ajar. i push it open. something falls from the top of the door, bounces off my head and hits the brick pavement just outside the doorjamb where I am about to put my foot. what the???????????? oh, HELLO little brown and black S N A K E!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i hastily shut the screen door after uttering the usual EEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKK-EWWWWWWWWWWWW A SNAKE fell on my head!!!!! and so there we are face to face…stare-down. he/she is apparently dazed….. motionless….. looking up at me with sweet bambi eyes….like a cute little disney cartoon. my body is motionless for about 10 seconds, my mind racing to find the solution….WHAT TO DO????????????? every fiber of my being recoils with the age-old feelings of fear and disgust….heebeejeebies!!!! i want….i must….KILL bambi. yes. i shuffle off one way, then come back to center & stare down at him looking up at me…shuffle off the other way….come back to center & stare down at him looking back up at me ….what to do? how to kill? what to use as execution stake?

wait-wait-wait….what’s that barely perceptible THING in the background of my psyche…..just….barely.... perceptible. CALM. deep down somewhere i hear the echo of my now 23 year old baby boy’s admonitions that had just begun to sink into my head LAST spring when i came upon this little guy’s mother(?) in the flower bed outside my kitchen door….eeeeekkkk! charlie’s instruction to dear old mom is DO NOT KILL BABY GARDEN SNAKES…(the insertion of “baby” mine……they are absolutely the only size garden snake i will tolerate in my line of vision….or should i say within reach of my garden hoe!) anyway, charlie says that garden snakes are GOOD. they keep away the BAD snakes….or some such drivel….which of course i believe since it comes from my outdoor critter savvy baby boy. so yes, CALM is that barely... perceptible... THING i was experiencing somewhere deep down. after all, who can resist those cute wittle doe-like eyes in the head of that wittle bitty motionless slithery snakey body staring up at me 6 inches away on my door stoop, nothing separating us but a little bit of screen…….SNAP!!! off i go to find the garden hoe! by the time i get back to do the deed……you guessed it? he gone!

snake be-gone repellent granules for the secret garden …..$13.99. CALM in the midst of the storm….priceless.