i have been feeling restless lately. school has been out for a few weeks. i have one more week of baking on the books and then am closed for the next 6 weeks. we have two trips planned: risa and i to portland for jim and tiffany's wedding in early july, and then chuck and i are off to jamaica, mon, (have to write it that way every time:) at the end of july to celebrate our 40th wedding anniversary. it's pretty miraculous that we are taking that trip. i don't think it has sunk in yet. he is actually looking forward to "getting the hell out of here so we can relax"....whaaat? he insisted on a sandals resort and actually requested an offshore fishing excursion. miraculous i tell ya.
one of my main goals for this summer is to declutter my house & kitchen, but i am having a very hard time motivating myself and focusing on it. i keep thinking that when i am finally done with the business end next week things will get better in the decluttering department. i'm really overwhelmed with the size of my house (my usual thing), and i just don't see how i will ever empty it out of all of the clutter and get it organized. well, i haven't accomplished it in the 30+ years i have lived here, so how in the world do i think it will ever actually happen, heh? i did manage to go through quite a bit of my bookshelves and dropped off about 4 boxes of them to the salvation army. i am currently working on another set of bookshelves....i am such a sucker for buying a book. especially on amazon. add to that the fact that i am a packrat and yikes.
i am currently pulling a "nicholas". which, anyone who knows nic and how he "declutters" would understand! i have so many old journals, and as i am working on "decluttering", i am scanning through some of them. most of the entries make me sick to my stomach and i am considering burning a good portion of them. so much angst....nothing like reading through old journals to get a picture of how sensitive and fragile a heart can be, good grief, it just makes me want to barf sometimes.....
i am currently reading through an exceptionally good one from 1984, though. may, 1984 to be exact. i recorded every day and every occurance of every day. as i recall we had sort of settled on a baby girl first name which was arisa after chuck's grandmother, could not agree on a baby boy name (i liked Gabriel, chuck did NOT), but on may 9th i woke up in the middle of the night with the distinct impression that if the baby i was about to deliver in a couple days (though i didn't know when at the time) were to be a girl (in those days it was rare to find out the sex of your child beforehand), she was to be called arisa JOY. two days later on may 11th i woke up at 3:30 am and my water broke. i delivered a beautiful baby girl that day at 12:40 pm, and promptly gave her the name i was sure God had spoken. i've told that story many times, but to read it in my own handwriting the very day it happened is pretty strange. i am reading through it slowly and remembering how it was to handle day to day life with a toddler and a newborn. big brother nicholas is recorded as being very sweet to "his" baby, who chuck and i do always remember him referencing as "garisa joy":)
have been enjoying helping charlie in his veggie stand the last couple weeks. i am hatching new ideas daily for the future (not that i am in control of his atall, but the things me and this particular offspring dream about seem to be remarkably similar sometimes:) it was with much sadness that we laid his and steph's beloved rufus to rest this past week. i was so blessed to be able to help them take care of him. he was such a sweet gentle soul. i begged and begged God to miraculously restore his mobility, but it was not to be. i think he sort of just gave up. after two surgeries and being immobile for so long. i am thinking that maybe that is how it is with animals. they are just not meant for long recuperation times like humans perhaps. just my thoughts on it. i am so glad they got to have him as a pet. like i told steph, the thing that i loved most about him was how much he so obviously adored charlie. i remember when they first got back from minnesota and charlie would bring him around in the back of his pickup. that dog would stay in that truck and never leave charlie's sight. i was always impressed by that. so ironic that jumping out of that moving truck on a wild hare after one of his beloved squirrels did him in. so hard parting with our beloved animals. they become such a part of us and our families.
well this week i have the fox mon. through thurs. mornings for nic's summer class schedule. am planning on joining the YMCA in the fall since there is one next door to brcc and i can go after my mon, wed, fri. classes for a little exercise. but i think i will go ahead and join this week so i can bring fox for a little swimming action a time or two each week this summer. reading through my old journals is reminding me of what it was like to have little ones around all of the time, but that has not been the case in such a l.o.n.g. time now, it's proving to be quite a challenge foxsitting so much these days. what a mimi won't do for love.
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