hey ya'll. welcome to my blog. so far i've been writing for an audience of one (not counting my imaginary peeps), so this will be quite interesting. and it's also extremely exciting to be totally in charge. even though i sometimes try and try in so many instances, well you know somebody's always going to mess THAT up! (you know you do it too:). so i'm really looking forward to beginning the "unveiling", so let's get to it.
first off, the absence of capitalization. just my own little quirky thing....sort of like my thumb ring. it saves me having to hit the shift key and allows me to go to that trouble only when the upper case reference in question deserves it in my estimation. aka any references that i make specifically about God, His Attributes, His Kingdom, etc.
i can be sort of serious & melancholy sometimes. i'm sure you have observed that about me. i can be passionate sometimes too, and that is when i start talking real forcefully like i know what i'm sayin' & you'd better listen up. i know that puts ya'll off some, but it is just me being passionate, and that is just how it comes out when i feel real strongly about something in the moment. i usually settle down after a while, as you have also probably observed. i think i might do these same things in my writing that i do in person, at least the melancholy part. oh well.
my purpose in this blog, like i told ya'll in my invitation, is to give ya'll some insight into me. i'm not quite sure why i think that is so important, but for some reason i just do. nic told me not too very long ago, "you sure are a private person, aren't you mom?"....or something to that effect. it got me to thinking. and i realized that i probably am. in my interactions with people, i'm usually the one listening while they share &/or complain, and who needs to hear me chiming in there with my own negative crap anyway, even though i do look for opportunities to encourage by sharing from my own experiences. and, really, the stuff that is inside my head and heart usually just seems too complicated to try to put into words, so perhaps i don't try hard enough. i don't know, maybe that is not your perception of me at all. but it's my perception of me. i welcome your comments here.
tomorrow is thanksgiving day. i've been in a sort of funk lately. i don't like the way my life has been turning out of late. i don't feel like i am making a difference. i feel like i am on the shelf, as we used to say in charismatic-speak. God is undoubtedly working on the inside of me. i seek after the knowledge of Him, but not as passionately as i have in other seasons. the spiritual disciplines that i have developed over many years of living in fellowship with Him are seeming dry. i've been here before. many times. i'm in a lull. a valley. i feel as if i have pocketed the lesson that i cannot measure my worth by the things that i do. i am absolutely convinced that i am valuable to Him just because i am His child. i-really- could sit here in the Garden forever with Him and be content. yet.... there is lurking in the background that tiny little shadow of... unrest.....i am faced with a choice that i have had to deliberately make countless times over the years.....i must choose to be grateful. and so that i do. i am grateful Lord, for Thy bountiful blessings....as numerous as the sands on the seashore, i can't even count them all.
yesterday ida left a message on the machine saying that God had put it on her heart to ask me to come and pray for her. she is sick & can't hardly walk. i carried myself over there with my bottle of anointing oil and 2 carrot cake cupcakes. i visited with ida and her very jolly & pleasant daughter 'rica (reeka :) who really loves God. i anointed ida and invited God to do His thing. i'm sure He was already there, but i guess God put it on ida's heart that if i asked, more of Him would come. for these Thy blessings, and most of all for You Lord, i am grateful. happy thanksgiving!
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