today was a good day. this morning we had 3 very humble and "real" guest ministers at our church. we are of the evangelical stream that believes that in the old testament nation of israel there were three main feasts that correspond to the present day church: they are the feast of passover, which has been fulfilled through martin luther's revelation of salvation by faith and grace through the blood and cross of Jesus Christ; the feast of pentecost, which was fulfilled in the charismatic movement with the restoration of the baptism of the Holy Spirit; and we believe that in the present day God is restoring to us the feast of tabernacles.
today our service was dedicated to having no agenda but the Holy Spirits agenda. there was no program, no prepared message by any of the leaders, and no unusual hyped up "manifestations" that some have come to identify with this type of meeting. there WAS worship and listening for the voice of a loving Father to His children. it was refreshing, and in the process of it i received a prophecy that i feel i can hold onto for today. in a word of edification, exhortation, and comfort as he prayed for me, the man spoke back to me everything that i have prayed for over the years, and especially word for word what i have been asking God for over the past months. he said that God said that He had heard my prayers, that He was working in behalf of those loved ones i had been standing for to press into God for all of His fullness, but specifically that one i had been standing for, which was my husband. as he spoke back almost verbatim the words i had been rehearsing for years, months into the ears of my Daddy God, all i could do was grab hold of my wedding ring and double over, weeping.
now, i have received so many "words" about my husband coming to Christ over the years, that it just plumb makes me mad at God that although there have been incremental changes in him over the years, there is no evidence that he has surrendered his heart and life to the Lord as of yet. i'm talking YEARS, k? like 30 plus YEARS. I mean, it's nothing for God to reveal Himself to this man in such a way that he would fall to his knees in repentance and surrender, right? how many millions of people have experienced a visitation that has brought them to the cross in this way? today, God assured me that that is still possible for my husband. how many times have i cried to the Lord from the depths of a soul vexed to the core at my life lived in union with this negative, pessimistic, tortured soul of a man? how i have stood upon this one desire of my heart, that God would restore what the canker worm has eaten and give us YEARS of walking before Him as one in worship of the living God? today, God spoke those very words back to me and said indeed it would be so.
there was more, a great deal, which i will write down in my personal journal as i recall them. i have been walking through an extremely dry place spiritually. i have come unto the realization lately that i have been waiting for so long for some specific things i have been believing for to come to pass, that i have lost the ability to believe for, desire, or even want those things any longer. but today my hope was restored. as i have done countless times in my journey of faith with the Lord, i choose to believe again. God says the agonizing is over, it is DONE. i choose to believe again. He says it is the season for rejoicing and declaring that it is DONE. and so once again, i choose to believe.
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